Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Second Helping

Copyright -Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

“They say that old man on the top floor eats children.”

“Bah! That’s to scare us from going to the top.  I bet we can get inside his house if we knock.”

“You can go I am staying out here.”

When he didn’t come back I had go and fetch him.  That seemed to be my duty in life.  Waiting for that lift to descend, opening the rusted doors, gagging in the stench and the whirring sound of the lift slowly cranking it’s way upwards.

“I am looking for my friend.”


“Ah yes, do come in. It’s time for seconds.”

**


Written for Friday Fictioneers. Word Count : 100

27 comments :

  1. It's like Hansel and Gretal...only with an elevator :)

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    1. Thanks Carrie. Now that's an interesting thought.

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  2. Anonymous5:49 pm

    Now that had me yelling at him to take adults up the elevator with him. A seriously scary story, Subroto.

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    1. Thanks Karen. I am glad you liked it.

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  3. Nice take on the prompt. Well not nice... but scary.

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    1. Thanks Sandra. Scary from you is a complement I'll gladly take.

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  4. Ack!What a horrid old man!Doesn't he know meat is not good for him-specially at his age ?And seconds?A definite "no,no"!Ah,well,if you gotta to eat,you gotta eat,eh?lol!Loved this dark and cannibalistic take on the prompt Subroto-great job :-)

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    1. Thanks Atreyee, sometimes it's important to get to the meat of the story.

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  5. Dear Subroto,

    Chilling story. My feet would be like wings down the stairs. Forget the elevator. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thanks Rochelle as always for providing the opportunity. I am glad you liked it.

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  6. Anonymous7:47 am

    Nooo...... definitely horrifying! I can only imagine the old man's cannibalistic grin! liked this a lot ^^

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    1. Thanks kz. I left the old man to the reader's imagination :-)

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  7. Anonymous1:44 pm

    I'd be out of there and on to the police or an adult when my friend didn't return and especially after that last remark (if I stuck around that long.) Good job!

    janet

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    1. Maybe he did run away :-) Thanks for reading and commenting Janet.

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  8. Nice creepy feel. He was silly to go to get his friend. He should have bolted! lol

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    1. Thanks Judah, glad you liked it.

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  9. What a way to go. That old man, eh! Creepy.

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    1. They were warned before. Thanks for reading and commenting Patrick

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  10. Anonymous8:26 pm

    Sometimes, it's a good idea to heed so-called "rumors"

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    1. No smoke without fire. Thanks for reading and commenting Bryan.

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  11. Good story and well done. Chances are someone in the past got away or that story of him eating children wouldn't have started. Maybe this child will escape also.

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    1. Maybe they did :-) Thanks for commenting Patricia

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  12. Anonymous6:29 am

    That was amazing ! Good one !

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  13. Anonymous12:42 pm

    YES! This is WONDERFUL! Just like an old children's fairy tale! Love it, love it, love it! Good suspense leading up to the rescue kid's attempt. Great story! Nan :)

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